Status

Funny Status For WhatsApp

Funny Status For WhatsApp

 

Best collection of Funny Status For WhatsApp in English You can Express Your feelings and situations on WhatsApp 

 

1.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

2.

The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.

3.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

4.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them!

5.

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.

6.

One wise guy invented WhatsApp… and his wife added last seen the feature

7.

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.

8.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

9.

Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.

10.

I Will Slap You So Hard That Even Google Won’T Able To Find You.

11.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

12.

I didn’t change, I just grew up. You should try it once.

13.

I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.

14.

Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.

15.

Yeah you’re really pretty, pretty stupid

16.

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

17.

I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.

18.

Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.

19.

If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

20.

I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!

21.

If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart.

22.

If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.

23.

The new way of forgetting your past is deleting your chats

24.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

25.

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

26.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

27.

Life is short smile while you still have teeth.

28.

I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

29.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

30.

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

31.

Hit the right arrow button to send the status out to your contacts list.

32.

I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.

33.

If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart.

34.

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!

35.

I’m jealous my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

36.

You hate me, I hate you. Problem? ♥

37.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

39.

You have the perfect face for radio.

40.

I Am gonna Make my Status High, better you too Focus on your Status only.

41.

Danger Zone!! I know Judo, Kung-Fu and some other words

42.

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

43.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

44.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

45.

My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

46.

I want someone to give me a Loan & then leave me Alone.

47.

i know you look on my status.

48.

Love is a long sweet dream & marriage is an alarm clock.

49.

Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’M Tried Of Solving Them For You.

50.

I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.

51.

Great power comes with great electricity bills.

52.

A really cool feature of the Nano they don’t tell you about is that even beggars ignore you at a traffic signal. Relaxing facility.

53.

Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

54.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

55.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

56.

I started out with nothing, & I still have most of it.

57.

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.

58.

I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.

59.

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

60.

Don’t use the bathroom in your dream, It’s a setup.

61.

Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.

62.

Taking your ex back is like going to the junk yard and buying back your own crap.

63.

Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

64.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

65.

I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.

66.

Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.

67.

Don’t go for BF, go for a Dog, they are more loyal and will die soon

68.

Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.

69.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

70.

Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.

71.

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

72.

No one is the reason of your happiness expect you yourself.

73.

I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.

74.

It’s not the fault of the mirror if you don’t like your reflection.

75.

People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

76.

You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.

77.

Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.

78.

Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met.

79.

If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.

80.

My gf left me becoz she couldn’t h&le My OCD I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

81.

If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

82.

Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with.

83.

I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

84.

The world could be amazing when you are slightly strange.

85.

Be Warned : I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.

86.

I like when you smile, but I love it when I’m the reason.

87.

My teacher today gave a 45-minute speech about not wasting time.

88.

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

89.

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

90.

my life is all about 3 things, sleep, food and wifi

91.

Hey there! I’m using my brain.

92.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

93.

Wait… Drop everything from your pockets, I think you stole my Heart

94.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

95.

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

96.

I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

97.

I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.

98.

The human brain is amazing, It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exams.

99.

Girls use Picasa to look beautiful and boys use ms-paint to show their creativity

100.

Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.

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